THE UK's VISIONARY HIGH-TECH Transport Minister, John Pressconn, today announced that DOWNING Street rooftops are to be fitted with state-of-the art SOLAR PANELS and that Midlands based CLOVER CARS, renowned world-leaders in space-age Alternative Vehicle Technology, would be supplying Ministers with worldbeating Electric Vehicles ( or "ZEL's": 'Zero Emission Limousines's/Limo's ) fitted with Electrofuel's revolutionary 250 mile-per-charge Superpolymer Lithium-ion batteries.

With characteristic  innovative zeal Mr. Pressconn told   rapt reporters that "in the 21st Century the UK must lead the world in exploiting the wealth, health and environmental potential of smart technology." He went on: "As the Prime Minister himself has often been at pains to point out, obsolete relics of a bygone Industrial Age have no place in New Labour's vision of 21st Century Britain". The former   miners' stalwart continued by pointing out that "Downing Street is known around the globe for its bobbies and big black doors" but that now "TV and newspaper pictures will constantly signal to the world that 'the UK leads the way' in the new century". Pressconn continued by  spelling out his message (literally); "You could say the 'I.C.E.' Age is ending and the 'N.I.C.E.' Age is beginning - here, in Downing Street, at the heart of Enterprise Britain, UK Plc."

In familiar   pithy and   concise style he went on, "In the new high-tech, environmentally responsible world-economy it is no longer just actions but   products that speak louder than words". And with characteristic wordplay - so often lost on his media critics - added," Tech-Knowledgey - with a capital 'K' - will be the key to unlock our future prosperity. Tech-Knowledgey - again with a 'K' - will be both   engine and driver of high-tech Britain".
Finally, the trailblazing Minister of Transport and the Environment - continuing the jocular mood - then wished everyone a 'N.I.C.E.' day before heading back to No.10 on one of his now trademark 'ZAPPY' ("2-Zaps" Pressconn) electric scooters for an extended 3-hour 'battery recharging session' (an aide said).

*Footnote/Update April 2001: Winds of Change?
From 'Hot Air and Spin' to realworld Wind Energy investment? The Labour Government seems at last to be getting the message - see excellent recent environmental reports - mostly by the brilliant Michael McCarthy - in the UK's Independent newspaper (has superb Search facility). We're including a selection below (until someone issues a writ). The question remains though: when at last will politicians and the media here also see the light and bite the bullet with respect to clean(ie. zero emission) vehicle technology?!?! Will the Government's proposed "Green Technology Challenge"(see Independent) avoid - as per usual - the use of the words 'zero', 'emission' and 'vehicle' in one and the same sentence?

Newsflash sensation! (17 Feb 2002) : well - what d'you know - just 10 months after our despairing comments apeared here re politicians' & journalists' chronic refusal to combine the words zero/emission/vehicle in one and the same sentence, Tony Blair's Chief Scientific Adviser has broken the taboo and called for a UK-wide ban - a.s.a.p - on the sale of all petrol and diesel -powered cars and for their replacement with electric and fuel cell alternatives. This - unbelievably - is no Pressconn-style spoof : read full story (Independent on Sunday).

Environmental reports from 'The Independent':
Green 'Industrial Revolution'
Sea Breezes To Power Britain
Ministers to announce 18 new offshore windfarms

** For more on Pressconn, obsolete relics etc. see Hotwire.
"You Can Tell World Leaders by their Cars" - see Hotwire
"Lisa for President?!" - see EVUK's Hollywood page.

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